( 11 reviews )
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Posted: Aug 6 2009
I learned a lot from this book. The author is a Harvard grad and uses her expertise and applies it to dating and finding a man to marry you. It's a good read, though some might not agree with the tips. However, I quite liked it and would recommend it, along with Why Mr. Right Can't Find You: The Surprising Answers that will Change your Life...and His.
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Posted: Jan 10 2009
Besides the idea that marketing oneself like a product to someone you might love is surely creepy, the author of this desperate and mind-numbingly superficial take on getting married fast, also promotes, as a primary theme, the tactic of deceptive product image-making by all manner of devices of misrepresentation and concealment of, well, true personality. There is also a scary duplicitous nature of the advice this woman presents, to both, essentially kill yourself off temporarily to motivate your potential buyer, and also to be yourself - and this manner of indoctrination has such sufficient degree of frequency as to raise the issue of whether therapy for the author is necessary. Consider these excerpts: * "It only takes 12 to 18 months if you adhere to the strict plan. You cannot make excuses or feel sorry for yourself. It is about meeting Mr. Right. Right now. It is solely for the ultracommitted with only one goal in mind: marriage to a wonderful man...If she has tunnel vision, I know she is a soon-to-be bride." * "Belief in The Program. As you will see throughout the book, The Program is radical...If your Mentor is going to support you on your Program journey, she must be a believer...Once you have selected your Mentor.. you need to create a formal arrangement. This is a simple one-page written agreement that you will create and sign together..." * "Do you wear a push-up bra? ALWAYS wear a push-up bra... Keep your fingernails looking nice, but not so nice...You don't want to appear "high-maintenance"...Long nails can be perceived by men as claws... Do you color your hair... I see women with fairly young faces who have gray hair... this has the effect of making them appear much older and may limit the range of men...There is plenty of time to look "distinguished" after you are married! ... Whatever your issue is, my advice is simple: Try to fix it, and if can't be fixed, disguise it as best you can." * "If you look and act feminine with men but other details in your life aren't consistent with that image, your feminine aura won't be effective... I've heard many women's [answering machine] messages that announce, "You know what to do at the beep"... this sounds hostile, not warm and alluring. Often the tone of voice I hear is not inviting and certainly doesn't project a welcoming image... We'll talk more about brand consistency..." * "You don't wear a power suit on a date...She was thinking like a woman who wanted a promotion, not a husband... a dress... made her look soft and feminine... I always have a woman in a power suit emphatically raise her hand and say, "This is who I am. If a man finds my look and attitude too intimidating or masculine, why would I want him anyway?" And I answer simply, "I've learned...that if you want to succeed, you have to sell what customers want to buy"... The Program is not about changing YOU, it's about changing what you DO. It's also not about pretending to be someone you're not... my advice is about redesigning your exterior look and behavior... not changing your inner self... to attract men initially. Marketers do this successfully all the time..." * "Let me be very clear that I am not telling you to "settle." But I am telling you to be flexible. Your future husband may stand five feet eight rather than six feet... He might not know how to ski... Maybe the short, dark-haired man will make you laugh with his sharp wit... You never know what is underneath the external disguise." * "customize your image advertising right away... the next time you have a date, try to practice this new skill... trying to let him know how you can fill his key emotional need. It may require the skills of a detective to identify what his key emotional need is...you should try to identify it early on... If you can't fill his need, let him know. You don't want to waste your time." There is also advice on "Being Efficient" and on ways to carry props around with you with which you can start a conversation, like that woman on Twin Peaks who carried a log around with her. There is also a section on how to carry out an **exit Interview** on men with whom dates did not go well with. There is some sick, geeky, crass and funny stuff in this book, but there is nothing about how to actually get to know a person other than to form a functional bond based on superficial appearance that motivates a mechanical buy response. It's interesting to note that the author's marketing plan has no outcome data associated with it, so who knows if its actually any good. There are lots of anecdotes about dating but none about marriages that have lasted more than a few months or weeks. It might be true that quick purchases made on false advertising often lead to a trip to the customer service desk for a quick return.
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Posted: Sep 5 2008
This is a horrible book. I can't believe I wasted money on it. The author believes that if finding a husband is not a priority aboved your job, friends, family etc. that you aren't really committed to meeting someone. She also believes you should quit your job and find a new one if you aren't in a field with a lot of men in it. Well, there goes my career as a preschool teacher. She also says you should be willing to relocate to a city, town, neighborhood that has more available men. She also wants you to call everyone you know including your mechanic, obgyn, pastor etc. and tell them you are looking for a husband. PLEASE save your money. This book is an embarassment to all single women out there!
