( 6 reviews )
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( 0 of 1 found this review helpful ) Posted: Feb 14 2009
Nelson, Craig. "Finding True Love in a Man-Eat-Man World: The Intelligent Guide to Gay Dating, Sex, Romance, and Eternal Love", Dell, 1996. A Bit Outdated Amos Lassen I am not sure what this book is really supposed to be---a how to book, a guide, a tongue-in-cheek look at gay life. Sure there is helpful information here but it is primarily, it seems to me, for guys who are looking for sex and not relationships although that us what the title implies. This is not a book for someone who is looking for a deep relationship and surely not to those who are in relationships and want to keep them monogamous. In researching the author, I learned that he is not a professional counselor so I question what he has to day. Neither is a good researcher--his sources have no documentation and he seems to be quite biased. The humor is really sarcasm and what I thought, at first, was funny later proved not to be funny at all.
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Posted: May 24 2007
I picked up this book second hand from a friend suffering from cancer and read it, repleat with notes inside, by I think this friend on several occasions. I even added a little of my own in one part. But before I get into the review, I have to say, for those who have scoffed at this book in your reviews, you obviously didn't read it well enough, nor were out nor what have you to see that what he's trying to tell you is while not new information, but information that is relevant to having a serious relationship with someone you love. I went into it realizing that what much of what he says is not new and that I already had an idea of said information, but the way he tells it is refreshing in that he tells it like it is. Love is fickle, you go in and out of love but if you learn to stick it out, you can become a long termer too. Since we in the gay community do not have good images of relationships as pertaining to our sexual orientation, it's hard to imagine sticking with one person for the long haul and that it's become way too easy to throw in the towel when things do not go so smoothly. In fact that's perfectly normal for hets go through it too, just like us. I'm gay and I hope to find that man that loves me for who I am and vice versa - perfection be damned. And that's precisely his point. find a guy who you can feel comfortable with, love and such and learn to live with his faults and hopefully he'll do the same to you. Now, his prose isn't the best but what he says is clear, concise and tells it like it is without glossing over anything. I liked his going through the various stages of a relationship so we getting into one can see what we could potentially getting into ourselves and hopefully will not go at this whole love thing blindly. Overall, a good book I will say.
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( 18 of 20 found this review helpful ) Posted: Feb 9 2004
If there were fines for mis-leading titles, the one assessed for this title would be greater by several-fold over any other. I am new to the gay world, not yet 'out' and uncertain how to move from interest to action. Little comfort or guidance was provided by this author when he wrote, "If I think I may want to see someone again, I always try to get his number, wait a day or two, take a deep breath, and make that call." The book is replete with such nonsense. The author talks endlessly of his many, many gay experiences, relationships, and break-ups. The book assumes that ALL readers have had similar experiences...in both number and depth. (I, for one, have not.) I am looking for a book (which the title led me to believe this was) which tells me how to get a FIRST date. The age of the book is apparent (copyright 1996) by its almost in-passing discussion of computer matching and AOL hook-ups. An entire chapter could now be written on what works, what doesn't work, where the risks and possibilities are in this near-decade old match medium. To quote, "If you've got a computer and a modem (duh!), there's a whole new way to meet guys: through computer bulletin boards." Page 63 of this useless tome goes on to say, "One of the most popular new ways to meet guys is via phone sex." It is? Maybe when this book was written.Not mentioned, but certainly prevalent in big cities is buying a date, as in an escort. There are pluses and minuses here that should be detailed in the book.Finally, assuming that you have hooked-up and are serious, there is great advice on staying together: "Give 200 percent of yourself, and remember that your other half thinks he's doing the same."Save your money and go to a bad movie. You'll feel better for it.
